can't really sing

2009-01-08T20:39:00.003+08:00

hi all!!

happy new year!

this post is to tell that i have a new blog!!

www.drive-slowly.blogspot.com

ps: also another reason is that my blog update-status-address-thing can appear top on eugene's blog..

=)

2008-10-09T20:23:00.001+08:00

the blog will be on hiatus... potentially not to be revived again...

10 oct 2008.

2008-09-24T13:21:00.002+08:00

yohoho! how are your guys doin! i wonder if anyone still come here n read once in a while.. mayb say, 10 visit a month of something.. haha..

anyway, i just thought that it's time to say a lil something here since it's been ages a post about my life here.. all these while were some random posts just on other stuffs =)

For a start, spring is here. Back home, we dont talk much about the weather, but here, well, most of the time it's the first thing you talk about. Flowers are blooming... grass are greener.. wind are getting less chilly..more lambs in the sheep pen too! i can always hear them baaaa-ing, esp at nights because they are scared. Just maybe a two minutes walk from my room, there is already a sheep pen...=) owned by Massey.

End year exams are lurking around the corner. been trying to get myself organised and catch up with some studies.. had semester test not long before and din reli do too well ay. =/ but anyway, the end is still for me to work hard for yes? yes!

i have not booked my flight back home yet. want to go home for cny. but currently waiting for my summer employment. got rejected by a few companies already but still waiting for a few more employers' response.

missing home always. what keeps me looking forward is just company of good friends around. ocf is keeping me happy busy and challenging me always too.

perhaps, i will post up post like this more frequently...with more specific things/events/ occasion to talk about. blogging this is like asking me (a guy), 'how are you?' after not seeing me for a year. and i end up talking about the weather. =)

2008-09-16T21:12:00.002+08:00

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

-psalms 23

2008-09-04T18:32:00.002+08:00

When trial and tribulation comes, maybe they are here for a reason. Maybe through these hard times, we can learn something from it, making us stronger, better, more mature in person.

Or, maybe through these sticky situations, God wants us to unlearn something. Maybe it's the pride in us, the stubbornness in our heart, our prejudice, our timidity, the bitterness that we have...

maybe..maybe...

James 1: 2-4 - consider it pure joy my brothers, wherever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

2008-08-21T10:25:00.005+08:00

cont...

THERE WAS a time many years back, when the sea lion knew he was lost. In those days, he would stop every traveler he met to see if he might help him find his way back to the sea.

But no one seemed to know th way.

One he searched, but never finding. After years without success, the sea lion took refuge beneath a solitary tree beside a very small water hole. The tree provided refuge from the burning rays of sun, which was very fierce in that place. And the water hole, though small and muddy, was wet, in its own way. Here he settled down and got on as best he could.

2008-08-14T22:39:00.002+08:00

What defines your life? What defines you? Who are you?

Switchfoot asks, "this is your life, are you who you want to be?"

For the past three days, I have been wondering about who I am after personality being doubted, true self being questioned. Indeed, who am I and to whom/what do I belonged to?

I looked around me, of what I owned, what I have worked my way through, what I have involved in, who have I made friends with, who do I spend my time with... so perhaps, that all defines me. Afterall, that's where I spend most my time in. Or maybe it's the number of friends I have on MSN/facebook/friendster/bebo? Maybe I should do up online profile? Perhaps it's status in my career in the future which starts now from applying for internship which are big companies? Perhaps my bank account defines me. I even signed up for paid-online survey thingie on the web to add extra few numbers in my bank account. But so what. It will all become like flowers that withers after its temporal blossom. Short-lived, momentous glory - but it all crumbles in name of meaningless. I don't want to look back from my deathbed and be proud of my bank account. Of course, I would love to be rich, but it's just not something worth dying and fighting my life for. There's got to be more. Something better.

I believe I'm created for a purpose. God was my Creator and is still guiding me. Perhaps I have not been on the right path...yet. I know so because my heart burns and yearns for something more. Maybe you don't know what I am talking about but its Lord's Spirit enables me to feel this way. Maybe someday you could tell me about it yourself.

I am define by who God is. His character and His plans for me. I am not defined by what people say about me. I am not defined by what people is expected of me. I am not defined by people's thoughts or opinions. I don't live by pleasing and making people happy (of course doesnt mean i go around offending ppl and acting Im boss). I am not saying all these in ignorance or arrogance. with humility. Not a statement to lash out, more like a reminder to self statements that I so often forget.

I acknowledged that I have not been always right or did the right thing all the time. I am sorry for the rash things I have done or said. But it goes deeper than that. It chases my heart everyday when Im not working towards it. Stacks up; stacks up so high yet Im so blinded. One day it just start toppling off. I am tired of going in circles or avoiding the same heart issues I kept for so long.

Too long.

If you have some sort of situation like me; just pick yourself up again. God restores. Set focus on God again. Set priorities on how to add values to 'the' bank account. The one that matters of course.

Galatians 3:26 - You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus

2008-08-11T20:51:00.002+08:00

sometimes in life, its not wrong to diminish your hurts and choose to see the bright side. in fact, ability to do so is not ignorance, but bliss.

today i really lost my temper. perhaps one in a long time. perhaps some of you think otherwise. perhaps some of you think im irrational and have problems. perhaps some of you think of me the way you wanted me to be. perhaps some of you think i dont care.

sometimes i really wonder how i would be like if i dont care.

.

im still work in progress. im sorry for losing my temper. just dont take me for granted.

2008-07-22T17:52:00.015+08:00

And I still haven't found what I'm looking for. - U2

ONCE UPON a time there lived a sea lion who had lost the sea.

He lived in a country known as the barren lands. High on a plateau, far from any coast, it was a place so dry and dusty that it could only be called a desert. A kind of coarse grass grew in patches here and there, and a few trees were scattered across the horizon. But mostly, it was dust. And sometimes wind, which together make one very thirsty. Of course, it must seem strange to you that such a beautiful creature should wind up in a desert at all. He was, mind you, a sea lion. But things like this do happen.

How the sea lion came to the barren lands, no one could remember. It all seemed so very long ago. So long, in fact, it appeared as though he had always been there. Not that he belonged in such an arid place. How could that be? He was, after all, a sea lion. But as you know, once you have lived so long in a certain spot, no matter how odd, you come to think of it as home....

Eastern Beach, Manukau, Auckland

TSCF conference I attended was held next to the beach. NZ is such a nice place. God's creation is so evident everywhere. =)

kiwis are actually quite creative sometimes. =)

no wonder the sea lion has such a deep yearning about the sea...

2008-07-12T19:29:00.003+08:00

I promised.

Well, this weekend marks the end of my winter break. Talking about the weather, it's a warm winter we have this year. But NZ being NZ, the weather is crazy. Last week when I went Rotorua, it snowed for the first time for 25 years! ha! it was real cold, but nice though; my first snow experience. =)

anyway, had a 3 week winter break. went up to auckland for a christian conference for 5 days, then stayed on for a couple more days before going to rotorua and taupo. all in all was away for about 9-10 days. enjoyed my stays. stayed in backpackers, met up with some familiar faces =), did some fun stuff too. went for zorbing! you know, the one you go inside a giant plastic ball and you roll down the hill? it was quite fun =) no bungy though. tempted always but too chicken. =)

sceneries was awesome! though north island in nz was nothing compared to south island.. still im loving it! on our road trip back to palmy from taupo, the fields (or desert) was covered with snow. it was fanstatic.. stopped by the road to play with the snow a bit before the cold caught up with us, forcing us to go back into the car.. hehe=)

exam results were out too. Praise God that I didn't fail this paper called Technological Maths that I thought I was going to fail because did so badly, can. And really praise God because still got a B for it =) Other subjects were fine too =) Thank God..

watched my first rugby match here in NZ tonight. I know a bit late but hey I finally watched one. =) south africa springboks (current world champion) against nz all blacks. it was quite an atmosphere (though only through a big screen tv and not live haha). Started with national athems of both countries, then followed by the infamous Haka by the All Blacks. boy it was an exciting match. Didn't even get bored the whole match. Got me screaming and stuff. Close match. All Blacks lost marginally 28-30. with an extra man in the last ten minutes somemore! south africa's captain got sin-binned (yellow carded) which means sent off (red card) in soccer terms. Then, All Blacks were leading. Just when we thought it's all going to end, just a second of lack of focus, south africa broke through the defence a scored a try! the whole match just turned around!

How important Focus is in our life. sometimes just a moment of slacking or mistake, a huge effect will take place..

Talking about Focus, today we had our ocf leadership retreat. Just how important this retreat is to re-align our focus and direction for the group for the next semester. It was a good meeting =)

been quite a long day today. and im getting lazy to blog. time for bed =) hopefully i'll post up some pics soon...

ps: welcome back to c-dub too! =)

2008-07-10T17:58:00.000+08:00

i will blog something soon...

i hope... =)

2008-06-02T12:06:00.003+08:00

wayne rooney gets punk'd by rio ferdinand. haha. the title itself is already so funny

didn't know rio has a side project to earn extra few bucks. lol

2008-05-26T21:08:00.002+08:00

had a really good conversation about friendship with a really good friend. friendship, something so simple that 3 year olds can easily create, and yet something so complicated sometimes that mature adults get hurt and haunted by it.

I am thankful for the friends that grew up with me. the patience and the crappyness and the jay chou video and the loooooooooovee that have been shown to me. thanks. I am thankful for the friends in KL and my spiritual family in KL. Thanks for inputting and growing together. had loads of fun=) I am thankful for the friends I have met in NZ. It's a new phase in my life that I share with you all. privileged. =)

you guys shaped me.

im learning to be a friend to you all, everyday. have patience with me.. =)

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13. what a beautiful friendship the bible is depicting..

2008-05-26T20:45:00.000+08:00

? lost generation we are

2008-05-20T20:28:00.002+08:00

much has happened. mistakes have been made. problems being pushed aside. issues being neglected.

tonight, i love life more. i look forward to each day now. i seize more of my own time. too many times a day is wasted often for no reason.

learning to love God, love people more everyday.

what happened in China just made me appreciate even more of everyday.

Get well soon, myanmar and china.

2008-05-14T07:39:00.002+08:00

Giving you my heart,
and all that is within.
Lay it all down,
for the sake of you my king.

Giving you my dreams,
laying down my rights.
Im giving up my pride,
for the promise of new life

and I surrender,
all to you, all to you.
and I surrender,
all to you, all to you.

Singing you this song,
waiting at the cross,
and all the world holds dear,
counted all as loss.

For the sake of knowing you,
glory of your name,
to know the lasting joy,
even sharing in your pain.

and I surrender,
all to you, all to you.
and I surrender,
all to you, all to you.

2008-04-22T16:56:00.002+08:00

part of me feel honored that to be able to bring countless joy to stanley siong.

other part of me feel like choking him altogether...

2008-04-17T20:33:00.003+08:00

no, toitlets in nz doesnt look like this....

tahi means 'one' in maori....

only nz got la..

2008-04-17T20:21:00.003+08:00

hola!

it's really been a while that i wrote something here. just a random thought. i wonder sometimes who comes here and read. hmm *wonders*

anyway, i have been real busy lately. like, real real really very busy. okla, not that busy la. im no multi-million business man or a top specialist surgeon or something. just a second year uni student. =)

it's been exciting. lots of things to do. new challenges, new targets, new faces, new experiences. i always feel weird to update things here, especially on what i do.. hmm.. maybe next time..

that's what i always say anyway..=)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

-proverbs 3:5-6

2008-04-08T19:57:00.003+08:00

Sheeps lazing in the pen just outside stay... so many of them.. grazing grass away, staring at you as you approach, and running off as you are near them...

only in nz

2008-04-01T19:18:00.005+08:00

ducks feeding in uni?

only in nz

2008-03-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

make june to forget boxing me the next time she sees me. which is probs in a zillion years.

2008-03-30T12:35:00.002+08:00

I was buying dominos pizza one day...

So the lady asked my name, so that she could call me when my pizza is ready.

"NC" I replied. I figure Nai Chen would be too hard for her to catch. What more to spell.

A moment later when I look at the screen, I saw...

NC is spelled as ANISEED. woohoo!

only happens in NZ

2008-03-29T18:20:00.002+08:00

Easter08

As you all know, Easter was last weekend. Easter is a holiday season where certain countries like New Zealand get a two week study break from university. Well, Easter is more than that.

He is third year in his university. Studies is hectic; they lied when they told him that the second year of university was toughest. Obviously the workload is more than ever in third year. Assignments, reports, tests are all coming one after another.

However, he is not easily deterred. He is focused, he is determined. Every day in university is like a survival test. Either you score, or merely hanging on. Pretty much like how in nature predator and prey battle every day. Cruel. Brutal. Merciless. Only difference is that you can be the role of predator or prey. In total control or totally helpless.

Exaggeration! you say. All you have to do is study! Yup, true. Hmm, well, half true. If it’s that simple, that easy, why is there depression and suicides that we hear going around. Well, we don’t ‘hear’ them, actually. But we know that it is there. Silent killer, is the term. Silent killer hits many of us.

He is one of them. Depression creeps in his life. Suddenly there are so many things to consider. Straight forward ones, complicated ones. Homesickness, people and relationships add to the problem. Studies are getting tougher and tougher. Whether the depression comes from the workload and causes distraction, or the other way round, distracted due to depression and causes piling of workload, no one knows. That’s not important anyway. Maybe university life is cruel, is because of this. It is never about the mere workload. Never.

The word ‘silent’ in Silent Killer was there for a reason. He knows he is struggling inside. He just doesn’t know what exactly it is. He wants changes in his life. He feels stagnant. He wants to getaway and have some fun. He wants to be happy. Somehow, what he has fixed his eyes on, getting good grades doesn’t make him happy anymore. That isn’t enough. There’s got to be more than that. He is drained. He is thirsty.

Easter is the day Jesus resurrected from death. He died for our sins, our weaknesses, our bondages, our pasts… When He rose up from dead, He defeated sin. His victory is becomes the victory of those that are in Him. He is the solution. He gives the living water that satisfies the soul. He created us in the first place for a good purpose. His death on Good Friday, was the redemption of our fall and weaknesses.

Perhaps, we cry silently at nights because deep down, we know we were meant for something greater.

John 4:14 says, ‘… but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.’

2008-03-28T06:16:00.001+08:00

only in NZ

bored?

2008-03-09T17:34:00.002+08:00

what are you driven by everyday? do you have dreams? do you picture yourself getting there soon? if you could, you are dreaming way too small.

what's a dream? something God given that is so big that it blows your mind, and you cant reach there by your own strength. It might take years to reach there; or even your lifetime; or maybe it exceeds your lifetime and your vision is carried on and fruits be reaped even after you die. Now that's a dream!

I am learning to dream bigger. I want a dream that takes me a lifetime to achieve. A God given one, because Father in Heaven knows all my strength and weaknesses and He has plans already set out for me. I am learning to dream big.

do you settle for where you are? I am not.

2008-03-07T20:15:00.003+08:00

choices. you make everyday, every time, with and without yourself realising. you can decide to stand your ground or give in. you cant choose what ppl think of you or do to you, but you can choose how your response it. you choose how you want to spend your day, your week, your semester, your year, your whole life. It's a choice of who you want to surround yourself with.

things may come n get in the way, but at the end of the day, you choose.

choose choose..

I feel like I have food deprived ever since I came to NZ. think even I have lost some weight. eep. i guess it's my choice to not to be lazy to buy groceries and spend more time cooking.

I'm really tired. finish a report last night and a lab today. had ocf. good company. i should sleep soon. i guess it's my choice to sleep now. but i enjoy late nights with no stress. relaxing. plain relaxing. =)

2008-03-06T13:30:00.001+08:00

found this in youtube. this is funny haha.

Description says: 'From norwegian football. Knut Anders Fostervold is the diver and the second one is a parody of it by a young John Carew.'

2008-03-03T19:13:00.002+08:00

Wow, can't believe it's March already. Nearly 1/4 of the year gone. didn't we just moved into 2008..?

week 2 of uni and it has already been busy. Studies and ocf. for the last week, i had kiwi culture night, meetings, lab, soccer matches (in Palmy rain! and we saw double full rainbows!), malaysian dinner, and shopping. yea, shopping. shopping for household stuff and cooking stuff that is. and oh, gumboots and overalls. now we look like teletubbies when we go to labs. haha.

A good friend once wrote me, ' Life is so full of uncertainty and the only certainty we have is God. ' I find it so true as we have loads of different things to deal with everyday. studies, friends relationships, financial issues... I thank God that I could trust in him through my difficult times and in time of uncertainties. God's love covers me.

In the bible it says, "there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." yea, perhaps that's one thing that I would like to share with you tonight.=) goodnight

ps: palmy is back being palmy again with strong unpredictable winds..=(

2008-02-28T20:12:00.003+08:00

first week of uni is coming to an end. Second years are definitely much more hectic than first years. and I definitely want to take it more seriously.. arrrr....! *pumps up*

yea. hectic. day. had lectures from 8am to 4pm straight with no breaks.. all lectures. every thursday will be like that. that's 8 hours straight.. I was complaining last year when I had 4 hours of lectures straight in the morning! haha. so i better not complain next time.=) and i better not complain now too much too because some friends end even later than me. ah, uni life. sweet sweet =)

this year is going to be busier and exciting-ier. got to make most of uni life, no?

maybe i should post up more pics of Palmy and Massey. ie how my room looks like.. what I eat.. what i wear.. haha..no?

ps: I have arrived in nz safely last sat

2008-02-22T14:46:00.002+08:00

Alright, I'm leaving. Flying back to NZ tonight at 9.15pm. Will reach Palmy tomorrow night at 7.40pm.

So, I bid everyone farewell. Farewell.! Till we meet again.! Thanks for everything and everything else.

Hm, guess what I had for my last lunch? I had curry maggie. woohoo. It was good. Haven't had Maggie for a long time. In NZ, Maggie (kiwis pronounce it as MAY-JI) taste so much different! I ate twice and I vowed not to eat it again because it tasted so bad. So bad that once I have to drain all the soup out and eat it with tomato sauce. haha.

Or maybe it was just my cooking skills? =)

2008-02-19T01:25:00.001+08:00

We watch the season
Pull up it’s own stakes
And catch the last weekend
Of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

Invitation only
Grand Farewells
Crush the best one
Of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed
Too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

And from the ball room floor
We are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all
Will sleep well
Sleep Well

Sleep Well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well

you have stolen
you have stolen
you have stolen my heart

Watch you spin around
In your highest heels
You are the best one
Of the best ones
We
All
Look
Like
We
Feel

you have stolen my
you have stolen my
you have stolen my heart

Dashboard Confessional - Stolen

cny

2008-02-18T19:16:00.004+08:00

this post is stolen from merlin the magician, not the lion. see blog.

I have to commit this crime of stealing to illustrate how Kuching is like the night before Chinese New Year. Fireworks basically didn't stop from 7 something at night till past midnight on the night before. Love cny in kuching!

I know this post is so ketinggalan zaman but it's cny right..? not yet chap goh mei. =)

Im in kl now, spending my last week in KL before flying off to NZ. leaving for kl 1st b4 to nz isn't a very good idea sometimes. it's like having to leave home twice.

Like really.

Also, Happy Birthday to Stanley Siong. 21st. grown up already.

Still 2008 right? not too late to wish =)

2008-02-04T21:27:00.000+08:00

this post is about a girl.

no it is not about the yellow shirt girl.

it's about a speical someone. so speical that I had to spell speical wrongly to emphasize how speical she is.

she is someone i know for quite a long time, someone i have not seen for a while. someone that bullies me, someone that look out for me. someone that annoys me, someone that comforts me. someone that fights with me, someone that protects me. someone that blames me, someone that corrects me. someone that teases me heaps, someone that I follow.

all in all, she is someone that loves me.

of cos, these contradictions won't happen if she is not my sister.

happy 24th birthday, sis.

see what I mean?

check out her blog at here to know about her dreams and passions and how she has blessed me by just being who she is =)

2008-01-25T20:47:00.000+08:00

have you ever warned people so hard that you have forgotten to warn yourself?

and when it came, it hit you because people you warned have ran to safety without looking back?

2008-01-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

A stool tames a lion better than anything - except maybe a tranquilizer gun. When the trainer holds the stool with the legs extended toward the lion's face, the animal tried to focus on all four legs at once. And that paralyzes him. Divided focus always works against you.

-John C. Maxwell on focus.

Being at home for the past two days gave me plenty of time to get well from my diarrhea as well as to think. Some say 2008 has just begun but fact is, Jan is almost over. And yet me, still seemingly quite blur and confused about certain things. It's high time for me to get things straight and re-focus.

On a lighter note, i found out that if you are sick, you won't get tired of sleeping for 2 days. Or should I put it ironically, you will still be tired after sleeping for 2 days. Great find ay!

On another bright side, tomorrow is my last day of work!

Fellow friends, nai chen is free from 8 to 5 again!

2008-01-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

you came along on a glorious day, and now I want you to save me again

- embrace

2008-01-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

Today, I managed to get a day leave off my work to help a teacher to do some interviews in school. It is regarding how the school has changed for the pass 3 years or so after adopting a new disciplinary system. Previously dubbed as one of the most notorious schools in Kuching, it has now took a 180 degrees turn. Cops that used to come in all the time don't anymore, students are punctual for their classes, students are taking responsibility over each other's disciplinary actions, and the list goes on. It's like the dream environment a school should be.

The teacher wants this to be well documented because he is confident that this system is the solution to many schools across the nations. It emphasizes on rewards instead of punishment, and it has worked so well for this school. 'It's almost a miracle for this school to change,' as many would say.

The teacher that stepped up and brought in this system is a winner. More than just teaching, he is sold out to instill the right values to the kids. He is passionate and has belief to see the kids change for the better. His passion, his vision is bearing fruits today.

Had a good laksa breakfast and a splendid lunch with him today. Boy, he is such an inspiration!

Grace:

2008-01-21T23:32:00.001+08:00

As I close my eyes for communion in church yesterday, I'm reminded of God's grace. Gift from God that I would have never ever earned.

Jesus was born to earth and grew up with a purpose in mind. He gave up heavenly splendor and took on lowly human form, to be punished on our behalf. The Creator came down to be among His creations to take on our condemnations, our dirty clothes, our poo, our sins.

In return, He gave us eternal life, He gave us value, He gave us hope, purpose, joy, peace, love.... He did this because He simply loves and wants to.

I thank you, Jesus, for the value You gave to me and the beautiful purpose You have in store for me. Teach me and humble me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

2008-01-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

Perhaps I should be glad that it's me that is feeling this way rather than you. I rather.

2008-01-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

I couldnt leech Mr Othman's wi fi anymore these days. I think Mr Othman is getting smarter now. I still do see his connection on my wifi catcher, but just too weak to connect to it.

He's smart aye. He must have moved his router further from my workplace. Just enough for me to see it, but have its signal so weak that I couldnt connect to it.

topic , where are you?

2008-01-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

yes, you are on the right site.

yahoo. a new skin. but my title seems to have disappeared. Anyone could help?

hello

2008-01-15T17:26:00.000+08:00

Im posted back to my previous office, which is relatively closer to my house than my new place. Another plus it that I might have internet access here in my old place. Might, I say, because it all depends on my good friend. You know, my good friend Mr Othman, the one that gives me free internet access.

I tried connecting to Mr Othman for 2 days now, but just couldn’t.

After a while, you just stop trying.

I guess in life, there are certain things that you can’t have no matter how hard you try. It’s just out of our hands. And also deep down, you know it’s just something you want, not something you need.

It’s a tragedy to get what you want but losing sight of what you need.

for what?

2008-01-12T12:51:00.000+08:00

'I was worth 1 million when I was 23, 10 million when I was 24, and 100 million when 25. It's not important because I never did it for money'

- apple picker, Steve Jobbs, on money.

time capsule

2008-01-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

A year ago, we gathered at his house, bringing a letter each, with our own names written on the envelope. About 2 pm, we dug. We dug and dug and dug, as deep as we could go. The ground we dug was barely half a meter deep, but the relationships that were dug, were definitely more than that. The best thing is, it is still constantly being dug, deeper and deeper every season we meet.

More than a note to ourselves, our dreams, our hope, our friendship were buried, only to be recovered 10 years later. Perhaps this is one of our childish ways to remind ourselves how important we are to each other, how much we cherish each other, how much we have learnt from each other, how we grew up together.

Cheers to my friends. Nine more years to go.

voice

2007-12-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

Heard it today again,

Silence, upon calling my name.

Sounded ever so the same,

As how it is dreamt every night.

It makes my day,

But it breaks my nights.

Pain, give yourself a new name,

Let it be a beautiful gain,

When the story ends.

Feeling:

2007-12-24T15:17:00.003+08:00

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Pooopoop;pop0ooiiiiuuuiuiiuijiijuyyyyyyuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyuyugttttttttr77777777777777777777777777777777

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777667677777777777777564444535434[-p[p0000p999999999677455555

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this was what was typed during work today.

I was cleaning my keyboard

The Christmas Tree Lesson

2007-12-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

Office is half empty today. Many are on leave. Their absence left the office quiet and cold.

Boss came in after lunch, went straight towards the Christmas tree. He gave out a smile as he flicked on switch. As the tree was lit up, the whole office was lit up too.

Wonder how it feels to be the tree? To able to bring smile upon someone’s face, yet on the other hand bring headache to another (me). Will it stop it flickering its best just because of someone in the office doesn’t fancy it?

Perhaps, this Christmas tree in this particular office has its purpose fulfilled. Just by doing what it is created for, to flicker in rhythm, synchronizing between reds and blues and whites lights to form beautiful patterns of glow. It brings a whole different ambience to the office. The programmer must have thought it to be beautiful.

Perhaps we are wired in some certain ways too. Maybe it is to light up, to use certain talents, to bring certain presence, to have certain influence, over a certain place, over a certain people, or may it just a certain person. Perhaps fulfillment in life means doing what you are purposed to do by God our Creator and doing it with our best.

Unlike the Christmas tree that lights up dutifully with a flick of the switch, provided with electricity available (for the benefit of less technical group of people), we actually have a choice. A choice to choose whether to ‘light up’ or not.

My choice, your choice, no one can snatch away. Not even God. It’s yours, given by God.

So remember, it is your call to make a good one every day.

Hey, Im here.

2007-12-21T10:38:00.000+08:00

I have been reading a pastor's blog a lot recently. Perry Noble. Found his through my brother's. He talks a lot of life issues and they are just interesting to read. Discipleships, ministries, evangelism, relationships..etc.. Some are serious, some are most real, while some are just hilarious.

Here's him talking about being a gentlemen in 5 things a single dude needs to know.

Oh yeah, one more thing…when you come to her house to pick her up…cut your car off, walk up to the door, and ask for her like a man. If you pull up in her driveway and call her from your cell phone–you are a loser. If you pull up in her driveway and honk your car horn…you are REALLY a loser.

Uh.. I think I do that sometimes, if not all the time. =x

maybe our stars are unanimously tired

2007-12-20T15:08:00.000+08:00

but somehow I hope yours would shine brighter than mine.

the perisher

2007-12-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

without vision, people perish

Today, sitting here at the office, waiting for 5 pm to come. I finally understood what King Solomon is saying.

I think im perishing in my work place.

Sitting in my office gives me plenty of time to think about my life. What's most important in my life. What will my life revolve around. What's my solid ground. What's my dream, my vision.

Without those, I am going to perish in my life as well.

as of 10.38am

2007-12-18T09:31:00.000+08:00

One reason I blog so much these days, a lot more frequent than I do while I was in NZ is because I am stuck in the office with nothing much to do.

I have been stealing wireless connection from Mr Othman. My office has no internet access, apart from the few computers that are linked to the network. So I have to bring my own laptop and try to tap into nearby wireless. Out of so many wireless network available, I only manage to connect to a network called othman_home. So, thanks mr Othman. I hope you don't read this blog because I just admitted of stealing your bandwidth.

Actually, if you do read this Mr Othman, and since you know about it now, it's not stealing anymore. Just borrowing. ay?

Anyway, here are some comments and questions that I get often these days from ppl

'you are so fair now.' in fact 7 out 10 of ppl says this to me. Mostly uncles and aunties. Some friends even used the word white. lol
'bored at home yet?' fellow friends from overseas
'how's work? *grins*' friends that have worked before.
'how do you like the christmas tree now?

Ok, signing off now. See you. Later today maybe =)

EcF Christmas Production

2007-12-18T09:16:00.000+08:00

If you are in KL my friends, then this invitation is for you.

"The Gift" on Conversations with Cathryn talks about 3 lives

''One moment she was expecting to hold her newborn adopted baby in her arms. The next moment, her baby's life hangs in the balance.

A young man suffered years of shattered relationship with his father. He never thought he would ever speak to him again.

One man faced depression that threatened to destroy his life…

3 real life stories. 3 bleak situations.

Find out how the amazing gift they received turned their lives around.''

beep beep

2007-12-17T15:44:00.000+08:00

[mom, im goin to send ur curtains to the laundry nw. then im goin club for gym. nt comin home for dinner. then im goin church tonite. ok?]

Mum - message sent

*buzz!! buzz!!*

[Yeh! I don't have to cook]

now I know where I got my sense of humour from. lol

unbox your mind. please.

2007-12-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

Bowing out of the ring,
no longer in the match.
So worry not,
for he wont get hurt again,
because a bystander simply won't.

More than a bystander,
a supporter also he is.

Whenever you face a tough opponent,
he will stand up to
cheer you on,
supporting you,
all the time,
all the way.

Whenever you fall to the ground,
whenever you feel everyone's eyes are on you,
jeering and judging,
criticizing and stabbing,
even though you already felt dead,
look for his eyes,
amidst the crowd.
They will be a different pair.

In those eyes,
perhaps you will find something new,
or rather,
something old,
something familiar,
something you once knew.
Perhaps they will give you strength
to carry on the fight.

He would not have been happier,
if he knew his eyes provided you
support, strength, hope, or even love,
that you needed,
to win the fight.
He could not have been happier,
afterall,
what more does a supporter could ask for.

Today,
he decided to bow out.
Bow out of the ring.
Sorry

I remember the time...

2007-12-13T14:49:00.000+08:00

“Terima Kasih”

My way back from work every evening, I would walk pass her.

Regardless if it is under the hot sun today or under an umbrella in a rain tomorrow, I would see her. She sits there quietly, waiting.

Just waiting.

At one glance, the seasoned woman has sight impairment. Shabbily dressed, she holds out at plastic container on her lap. In the container, sometimes several coins lying around, sometimes none. And also in the same container, there are packets of tissue for sale.

I would buy a packet every day when I walk pass her. I think the weight of her needing money is more than the weight me not needing tissues. And afterall, it is only a small packet at a time anyway. A visit to the toilet could finish up the whole packet =)

“Terima Kasih”. She would say upon hearing coins being dropped in her box.

If I am in my office wear the next time you see me, you could ask me for a tissue. I should have some to spare.

Check out her blog at www.tissuesellergirl.blogspot.com.

No no, I am just kidding. =)

Tea, Please?

2007-12-13T14:39:00.000+08:00

"Nak minum apa?" the other tudung lady asked.

I shook my head and waved my arm.

I declined politely to her offer. I felt paisheh if someone I don't know make me a drink. After all, I am only a trainee and am new in the department.

She smiled and walked away.

After lunch, she did her round again. Dutifully she asked again.

"Tak apa, Tak apa. Terima kasih" I declined again.

She walked away, giving me the awkward smile as she left.

At that point, I thought she must have felt uncomfortable. Perhaps I should have just asked for tea next time. And I did.

“Siapa nama kak?” I asked as she handed tea to me.

“Kak Nas”. She replied smilingly. I made a new friend.

A famous dying man in US once said Give like an adult, receive like a child. As I learn to give in my life, I am also learning to receive.

Today I learnt to receive a small cup of tea.

The tree

2007-12-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

The once dull office is lit up with the flickerings of red and blue and white neon lights. LED lights I mean, to be precise.

The office has a new tree. A Christmas tree.

It sits at the right corner of the office, next to the door. It sure has its charm. Whenever visitors comes in through the door, they would comment how pretty the tree is. Occasionally, colleagues will burst out in Christmas songs upon passing by the tree.

One day during lunch, my boss asked me if I noticed the tree in the office. Yeap I sure do notice. How can I miss it when I am sitting facing the tree, 2 tables away. The flickering LED lights catch my attention always. A little too much that it gives me headache if I stared at the tree too long.

"So is the tree in office nice?" Boss asked.

"Yea, very nice." I asked smiled politely. But my reply was unconvincing.

The following day, a staff from another department comes to ours.

"Wah! what a beautiful tree!!"

"Yea! And it changes its lighting patterns by the flick of the button!" someone answered.

I smiled. Sitting quietly at a corner, I tried to admire the tree. Give it another go you know. Maybe I should try harder to look for its aesthetic side.

I failed miserably. ahhhhhhhhh... headache again..

I started work on Tuesday. Today was my fourth day in the department.

My new work, like the tree, I am still trying my best to enjoy.

tu.tu. tuuu.tut

2007-11-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

I foresee myself blogging much less due to the dial-up connection im using from home.

I played my cheapest futsal game in my whole life after having only to pay rm3 for 4 hours of futsal. It's 4 hours mine you. =s haha, nevertheless, no complain. The futsal place at 7th Mile has cheap rates on weekdays before 5pm, which is rm30 an hour. But that's not all, you get an hour free for playing an hour. Imagine that. =)

My holidays at home has just started not long ago. It's been nice to see familiar faces once again, catching up with each other as well as reminiscing old tales. But it's a pity many of my close friends are not home this summer. My summer, their winter.

Though my hols are long, I got to work for my practicum hours. Currently having slight trouble confirming a job but nevertheless will be I reckon. So currently still idling at home enjoying the taste of holidays which slowly slips away. Consequences of growing up.

I decided to work in Kuching is because so that I get to spend more time with my parents. I reckon I won't be working in Kuching for my future job practicum. So it would be nice that I could spend as much time as I could with them this time round.

Got to really guard and ground my holidays wisely, spending it in most fruitful and productive way.

Happy birthday Yien and Kevin!

100th

2007-11-11T16:20:00.001+08:00

here's my 100th post! took me a wee bit longer but weeeeeeeeeee... here it is..

Going to have my final paper tml. then 2 days later, im heading to auckland, then 2 days later after that, im heading home!

yipie!

esther, I'll see you in Bitromart? =p

Once a upon a time...

2007-10-31T18:30:00.001+08:00

Let me humbly tell you a story..

Let it begin with you knowing that I'm a poor story-teller.

That's why this blog has such poor account of my life in New Zealand. Perhaps it's due to my personality. Being a pessimist and low self-esteemed by nature, blogging about what I do here seems a bore to all. I know, updating on one's life is what a blog does, you might say. Yeah, but can't help it but to think that you all would not be interested in what's going on in my life.

Nevertheless, my blog posts, unorganized as they are, seems to be revolving around one person. He is no other than God. If you have not realised it by now, err..... haha. Anyway, it's never my intention to be long-winded about God and religion and bla, but, well, that's what I have been and am blogging about. Hah. Unconsciously, being someone who is quiet, I chose to spent my words in telling you about God. Ultimate bore? Maybe. But I was swept away.

Honestly, I don't know how to resume writing this post since I said I wanted to tell you a story. This story I wanted to tell is the story about God in my life. Ups and downs...hmm, so much, that I can't put them down in words now.

Give me a sec...

Perhaps, I'll start with an ending.

"...we live happily ever after"

Like a breeze..

2007-10-31T18:18:00.000+08:00

This year was a breeze.

Not my exams.

Had my 1st exam yesterday. Chemistry & Material World. But tt was ok I reckon. Next would be this sat. Calculus.

Soon, I'll be home. Like, 2 more weeks!

Good talk =)

2007-10-27T20:10:00.000+08:00

Got back from hardout studying today. It was from 1pm till around 10pm. Didn't get much done after dinner though. Just so tired.

One thing I found myself doing when I reached my room is turning on my laptop and listen to music. Feel so 'energy-less' without listening to any songs the whole day. I guess I'm a music person.

I can't wait for church tml morning. God's presence is like what music does to me after long hours of study, speaking in parallel. It's rather a bad comparison, really if I compare music with God's presence. It's just something beyond any words could express.

His presence refills me; His face refreshes me; His love fuels me on....

'How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!' - 1John3:1

Sleepyhead

2007-10-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

I think Im insomniac again. Gosh. Couldnt sleep if it's not 3am for the past few days.

What's worse, I have not been studying for exams that are coming starting next week. sigh.

On the lighter note, I am going home. =)

oh Norman, Im going back on the 16th Nov to KL.

These are recent pictures of me, if you are forgotten how I look like.
oh its 3.03 am now. hitting the bed... good night..

hope you finish your work June.

when I look at the sky above...

2007-10-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

Lying there on my bed, listening to the rustling wind of Palmerston North outside, I suddenly thought of my old laptop.

Im quite bad at techkie (think I even spell techkie wrongly) stuff, so I couldn't even remember the model. But it was 15 " Travel Mate Acer running on Intel Celeron; previously belonged to my sis for 2 years (i believe) before passing down to me. It was quite obsolete after using it for 2 years during my pre-U days.

The thing that struck me most while lying on my bed was, I couldn't recall what happened to it now after I got my new laptop before coming to NZ. Does it just lie there at home, somewhere? or has it been brought to my mum's office; or has it been given away? I have absolutely no idea! After almost 8 months of leaving home, I am suddenly 'concerned' about my old laptop. It would be such a waste if it is left there to rot because it is still in good condition. But one thing I know is that my parents have taken care of the 'problem'. Somehow.

In spiritual parallel, sometimes we are like that. We all stuffed up and have problems. But do know that God our Father in Heaven does take care of our mess. He is always wanting to change our habits, mold us and give us something better. Taking the Celeron from us and giving us my new Centrino Core 2 Duo.

At the same time, He has taken care of our Celeron. He has dealt with it. Somehow. We are promised a new beginning; a fresh start; an extraordinary life. Without condemnation; graced with righteousness. A gift presented to me so beautiful that convicts me every time I come before Him.

"Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1

YOU too could have a new life. A heart yearning fresh beginning.

my black sleek Dell XPS M1210. Schweeet!
Thanks pa and ma for getting me this.

Never too late to say thank you for a gift.

Never too late to say thank you for any gift.

Selamat Hari Raya

2007-10-14T18:16:00.000+08:00

Greetings to all my friends who celebrate Raya. It is really special to be here with you all away from home to celebrate, although I missed the potluck yesterday. Sigh...

Anyway, yesterday I was helping Michael making food for the CF ball. Started about 10 in the morning, last the whole day right until the ball ended which was about 1am. Tiring day but enjoyable. This is something that I would never do in Malaysia. Me helping to prepare food. haha. And Im talking about professionally prepared finger food, not just any kind of dish. That was really not my cup of tea, since I can't cook, but just by availing myself to help was already learning heaps. We were making finger foods; among the menu were carrot cake, raspberry nut cake, chocolate brownie, cream puffs with chocolate toppings, sushi, samosa, curry puff, won tons, sandwiches and vege dish. And Michael single-handedly made everything from scratch within 3 days. Amazing cook he is.

Congratulations che che. Hope you have an extraordinary time in Singapore for your graduation. I just want to honour her for being such a good sister to me all these years. Always taking care of me. =)

Hmm.. But now you have got yourself a competition. haha. since March. Hmm.. whoever gives me a present first wins.

haha kidding..

Weekend's over again. I haven't rested for the whole weekend. Have been sleeping late and waking up early... So tired now. But at least I got my assignment which dues tomorrow done.

Im happy. Im thankful.

Today in church, the pastor spoke about being thankful.

Im thankful that I'm here in Palmerston North.
Im thankful for the true friendships I've found. Friends that embrace me although when I'm dirty. Friends here and back home.
Im thankful for my podmates.
Im thankful for Jesus who died on the cross for my sins.
Im thankful for body which is functioning well now after the 'breakdown' 2 weeks ago.
Im thankful for everyday today.
Im thankful for my family.

1.41am

2007-10-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

what a relief. Crazy week is over and Im healthy again. All smiles!

what I look forward to currently:
1. going back home to see pa and ma
2. going back home to see ko and che
3. going back home to see SNL and DD
4. tml and tml's happenings
5. getting prepared for final exams

no seriously, like study and be ready for finals, if you know what I mean. you know, study.

im not kidding, geez. it's that hard to believe huh? lol

Aaaaaaaaaaannnyway,

6. Tonight's sleep

oh, I think my little thoughts are slowly coming back again. =)

missing home

2007-10-04T19:28:00.000+08:00

It's raining tonight. I like the sound of the pouring rain outside.

This week has been a crazy week. Never been so sick before this year. I couldn't get out of bed for almost 4 days. It's not until Tuesday that I got better. and now that Im coughing up blood. =/

After getting better, I have just been working on backlogs. Been staying up to 2-3 am in the mornings for assignments, and been spending another hour or so after that rolling on bed. Just could'nt sleep. And waking up the day doesn't usually help, with assignments to touch up and datelines to submit to wheel off my days.

I need.. a break. I need home. I need breakfasts. I need sleep. I need You.

Thank you my friends who have made my day. Thank you you who brought me to see doctor and who took care of me and who made me meals and bought me groceries.

and sorry. I never knew.

Teach me Your ways,
on how to relate.
Show me Your ways,
on how to show love.
Teach my heart,
on how to place others before myself.
Humble me once again.
Fill my cup, Father,
for I am dry.

something's shaking.

2007-09-30T15:25:00.000+08:00

It's either me, or the earth.

Im sick again. This time down to viral infection on my shoulder and neck. I even got a shot on my bum yesterday and still it wont go away, just yet.

On top of that, I have 3 assignments to hand in tml, which I have not started any.

Bye! Im going home soon! smiles!

1am in Kuching

2007-09-27T06:54:00.001+08:00

hey..guys, my church band in kl is going to Kuching for a tour. Dont miss out their nights. =) You'll know what I'm talking about..=)

28th -30th Sept.

That's tml...

Call 012-809 1012 for more info (Silas)

(One Place Auditorium, Good News Fellowship, Green Heights)

How much longer?

2007-09-20T19:24:00.000+08:00

Turn your ear,
to Heaven and hear,
the noise inside.
The sound of angels' awe,
the sound of angels' songs,
we could join and sing,
all this for a King...

Turn your gaze,
to Heaven and raise,
a joyous noise.
Oh, the sound of salvation comes,
the sound of rescued ones,
and all this for a King,
we could join and sing...

How constant, how divine...

So constant, so divine... =)

You know when are in nz too long when

2007-09-19T20:09:00.000+08:00

You wake up on sunday morning, the 1st thing u check on the internet is ...

All Black's score in Rugby World Cup,

instead of Arsenal's in EPL...

oh gosh..

that's bad..

boing boing

2007-09-18T19:20:00.000+08:00

Went snowboard few weeks ago. When it was still winter. Now, spring is coming..

Snowboarding was fun.. despite falling down like.. every 5 seconds. For the whole day. It was a good experience nevertheless. I think I would like to do it again someday. Kinda like it but tiring.. The mountain was pretty.. very very pretty.. =)

Went up to the mountain with 7 others. That's Brian in the picture. He's leaving back to China for good soon...

Spring is here....boing boing boing...!

Arsenal Crossbar Challenge

2007-09-16T16:11:00.000+08:00

stats stake

2007-09-11T21:02:00.000+08:00

oh self-discipline, where are you?

That too has been missing, that's why Im doing such last minute studying.

Tml night, Im having Stats sem test.

Why oh why do engineers need to learn all those definitions.

I can draw graphs. with excel.

what....

bleak leak

2007-09-10T19:19:00.000+08:00

Oh little thoughts, where are you?

They're missing lately. That's why I stopped blogging for a while.

Tml night in my church's homegroup, im sharing my testimony.

Here's something I wrote about a year ago on a little bit about my journey in knowing God..

Click here!

ends here

2007-09-08T12:18:00.000+08:00

I am renewed

I am going back to uni after 2 weeks of hols.

I am doomed. for semester tests.

I have short hair again.

I am going back in Nov.

I am blogging again.

I think.

hiatus

2007-09-01T09:34:00.000+08:00

Here's to say im still in new zealand. still alive. still skinny.

Goodbye to June. Take care in Harvard.

Goodbye to Darren. Take care in UofI.

Happy Bday to James!

Goodbye to Stanley. Take care in Cardiff.

Bug.

2007-07-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

Got flu and cough. Maybe I got the bug.

Second Sem Starts! Started actually. A week and a half ago. I thought this semester would be less busy but ooo I was wrong. My timetable is kinda packed and cluttered and less organised compared to 1st sem. but I guess I just need time to adapt.

Im taking Stats. haha. Yea. Not liking it so far. Also taking Calculus, Chem and Material World and Intro to Food and Bioprocess Engineering. Hmm yea just a quick update. Oh ya, this sem, Im gonna turn over a new leaf. and work harder. (If Daphne says shes a new woman, then Im a new ~~boy~~ man then.)

I hope.

Weather here is just cold. Got to wear 2-3 layers whenever Im out. Sometimes even 4! and it's not even snowing here. I know Im skinny and need more fats (okok. don't give me that stare). Just cold for me.

Anyway, here are some ecf church happenings

For some of you, remember Dive In Camp 06?

(www.divein06.blogspot.com)

Now, Dive In Camp 07 is here...!

www.divein07.blogspot.com

www.divein07.blogspot.com

www.divein07.blogspot.com

www.divein07.blogspot.com

yipiee!

****

Check out 1am "Always In Your Heart" Video Clip below:

I saw, now I wana see

2007-07-19T18:31:00.000+08:00

Hillsong Conference was really really good. Inspiring. Impressive. I think I'm kind of guy that is easily to be satisfied, but hard to be impressed. But, this hillsong conference, really got me impressed. Such a large scale of an event with over 24k delegates, everything went properly. The opening was just awesome, with the whole orchestra of strings on the stage playing Bitter Sweet Symphony, which later on had the drums and electric guitars coming in the rock the whole thing up. wooo! It was just so grand and the spirit of excellence was there. Apart from all the opening hype, most importantly, the Word that preached throughout was always so exciting and never dull. Although for 5 days our conference lasted from morning 9am till 9.30pm, tiring indeed but every session was so good .

So much that I've gained, so much that I've heard from those top notched world class preachers. Just couldn't possibly blog them all down here. You may ask why go all the way to Sydney just to attend a church conference, well, to me it was an important step in my walk with God. This conference allow me to set apart time for God and gain fresh visions from Him again. Following God and allowing Him to guide me, is something for me for life. Saying this in humility cos walking with God is not an easy journey, I know, and being self-righteous is not what I have in mind. Eee, self -righteous, nono..

"Dont look back in your life and regret. Not of things that you have done, but regret of things that you have not done."

Wow.. scary...That line keeps ringing in my head. Man, how much I have missed out and I'm constantly regretting it. Nawp. Got to stop. Got to seize the window of opportunity available that you have, to rise up to God's purpose for you. Which are often not easy, that's why we don't take the chances to step up.

Be comfortably uncomfortable, consistently inconsistent, predictable unpredictable, to step out to the untried, unknown, and unpredictable. This was one the message. *ooooo* Deep aye? Profound too aye? Lol. Comes in handy too when you are at the momentous second of becoming lazy and selfish, ready to shrink back into comfort zone. The untried, unknown, unpredictable.. wooo! scaryy...

but sounds fun too. =) Also most importantly, change = growth. Can't grow if we don't change. Can't grow if I don't change.

The words preached during the conference, could be just merely nice words that I heard. But I want to refuse to let them be merely nicely stringed words recorded in my Hillsong Notebook; I want to bring them out in my life. God, let me see more of your glory in my life...

29.07.06 and Sydney Tonight

2007-07-15T17:09:00.000+08:00

Sydney! Here I am! My flight was delayed from 3.10pm to 4.10pm so I was stuck at the airport, (Palmerston North International Airport, mind you). Grew sleepy waiting to board, and when I got on the plane, I dozed off almost immediately. I slept so soundly that I didn't even realise that the plane took off. I wasn't wearing a watch and with my cell off, I lost track of time completely when I woke up.

Not knowing what time it was, how long has the journey been, nor how long more to go. But thank goodness I knew where my landing point was.

Thank God I know where my life landing point is going to be.

Anyway, it was nice traveling alone; mystifying unknown enigmas were there to excite things. Managed to find my way to my accommodation with a map and few directions. Now, who says men don't ask for directions?

Met up with Chuan Zhong and his mates for a movie. Big screen. Ooo. Palmy ones are as small as Kuching's. Actually, Kuching ones might be bigger. Eeek.

ANYWAY, after movies, while walking home, I went wrong way up the street and got lost. At midnight in a foreign busy city. But somehow, I was still smiling and oooh aaahing my way looking at places happily. Kinda sakai to see so many people again. NZ is dead quiet (Palmy is in a small city in NZ).

Haha, no. Mainly at peace because I knew that God's with me.

Watched Transformers earlier on. It was an awesome movie. Liked it how they transformed from ordinary vehicles to huge robots. As I write this, I'm praying that this trip would transform me..into someone God has in mind. Knowing that it is not instant and takes moulding, but hope this trip would be a starting point.

signing off at 1.30am. 29.07.07.

1.30am. My roommates were fast asleep. Good. Finally. Time to unpack.

25.06.07 and kite

2007-06-28T18:37:00.000+08:00

I felt like a kite today.

You know? the bright yellow kite that I used to fly when I was 10?

Felt myself caught by the gust of wind

tenaciously headed for the sky... Wheee!

It was my 1st time feeling this way, really...

=))

27.06.07 and string

2007-06-28T17:49:00.000+08:00

man.. the string...

forgot about the string... the one that pulls the kite back..

felt so tied down and surpressed..

if only string would let go of me, I could fly really high..

really really high uppp!

or is it?

thinking twice..

without the string holding it in the face of the wind..

the kite would quickly come crashing to the grown..

sigh...

actually, come to think of it..

this string anchors the kite,

controls it, allowing it to soar at the right time..

hmm..

string and kite kinda go together, you reckon?

I'll go with the one with kite and string together...

=)

kite flying... what a wonderful thing.. wheeee...

20.06.07 and cakes

2007-06-28T16:37:00.000+08:00

Before i'm off to hillsong, i got to blog a bout a few things....

I'm blessed on this day. 20th was my birthday. (It's ok, I still accept belated wishes, no worries =p) This year I had 3 birthday cakes, all chocs haha, and all 3 of them got me by surprised.

The 1st one was courtesy of Lutfi and John, my sneaky podmates who hid the cake in the microwave. Brought it out after midnight 'sort of surprise'... It was good. Blew candles. Cut cake, into 3 big pieces. Yea, like I said, it was good. hmmmm...haha

Went out for a buffet dinner at Valentine's. Food was decent, company was excellent. Half way through dessert, John distracted me by pointing the camera at me, and the cake came from behind. As who got the cake, still remain a mystery to me. But anyway, thanks to everyone, John, Lutfi, Aaron, Amy, Vijeeta and Chew Wen. =)

The last one was during OCF retreat at (uncle) Michael Low's place. Hmm... He baked the cake at 3am in the morning, for Nigel, Esther F and I as our bdays were close together. (Michael reminds me a lil bit of Steven haha) Michael even made us bak chang. Indeed, am blessed when you eat bak chang away from home. =)

check out the white origami elephant at the side

Also, not forgetting

Cards from Line (be afraid, be very afraid! *shudder*), Daphne, Esther S, Eng Keat, Jessie, CZ, Hui, Cheon, Chew Wen, June, and Darren. Love them heaps! Now my room wall shall not be empty anymore.. haha..

and all the sms'

and the phone calls from bro and the rest of the ppl there. haha. and from Min Yu.

and a slice of cake from Hui. (mocha, not choc this time =p)

and the jacket from Chew Wen =)

and all the facebook and friendster wishes..

Hmm.. decided to blog about this because wana express my gratitude. If you know me, birthdays (mine) are never really a big thing to me, really. But it was really nice to know that you guys are happy about my birthday when you guys wished me 'happy birthday'. ok sorry lame lame...but yea, really thank you all =)

20.06.07 and 3 cakes. Allowed me to make 3 wishes. haha does it work that way? But I only made 1 though. not telling you guys about it. well, not now. Next time, perhaps. =)

Thanks again guys. Saying thank you is why I blog today. =)

Future

2007-06-26T20:24:00.000+08:00

This Friday, I'm flying off to Sydney for 10 days, for Hillsong conference.

It's going to be a full 5 day conference with guest speakers all over the world. To name a few, I'm looking forward to see Chris Tomlin, Israel Houghton, Jentezen Franklin, John Bevere and of course Hillsong themselves.

But more than just those 'celebrity' speakers, musicians, and singers, I'm certainly not missing the real one and only celebrity; God Himself. I'm waiting to be encouraged,inspired, impacted, changed.

Now, honestly, how many of us need encouragements and inspirations everyday when we wake? Or perhaps a little bit more of excitement and purpose? At the moment where I'm now, I do need all those. Looking forward to this conference. Excited at what God has in store for me at the conference and certainly after the conference. Perhaps this conference is themed 'Future' for a great reason.

Cant wait to encouraged by testimonies. Cant wait to be inspired by people. Cant wait to be impacted by Word. Cant wait to be changed by God.

"If you want to see something you have not seen before in your life, you have to do something which you have never done before" - there's a saying

This phrase stolen from here has certain amount of truth wont you agree? we need to change to see changes we desire. Or better, changes that God desires, which... is bessst!

Destination: Beautiful

2007-06-17T19:48:00.001+08:00

I went for a cold evening jog a week ago. It was rather fun jogging in the cold. Of course, fun, i mean when you are wearing three layers thick and actually feel warm in the cold. haha.

***
Sometimes, when things don't go your way, instead of grumbling about it, smile at it. Take time out to smile, and you'll find it funny why you are frustrated in the first place. Try it!

***
Saw a couple of guys while jogging. It's funny how they smile back at you when you smile at them. Seemed like the whole world was smiling.

Destination: beautiful!

Ok, Time to Dance

2007-06-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

Dance To Inspire

Here, I just want honor and encourage dancers that I know. Sharon, my Sista, Ina, YC, Vitto, Jeyna, Samson, Chris, Doreen, Maril, Priyanka and team!

Takes effort... time... sacrifices... emotions; I know. Why dance then...?

"Why do we dance?..... why do we breathe?" - unknown.

Hey! Dance for bringing hope. Dance to inspire. Dance to worship.

You guys are the best! =))

To: Heeeee!

2007-06-07T23:30:00.001+08:00

You deserve to be free for a while. That's what I meant.

do Heeeeeeee! more often

Biology of Cells

2007-06-05T20:48:00.000+08:00

Biology of cells, my 1st paper on the 12th of June.

Walking back from library 2 nights ago. It was 7.30pm-ish. It was cold and dark; winter is here. I was hungry and feeling the cold creeping through my jacket. I would have quicken my pace to my room.

But I didn't. The stars were just too beautiful. So bright and numerous. So instead, I took a longer route back to my room.

Just earlier in lib, I was struggling to understand about biology. It's really smart for human to figure out how cells and genes work and everything. But staring at the vast night sky above me, just made me realise again how... small we are. The same God created that life, put the earth and the stars into motion.

With this mind that struggled to understand the subject Biology of Cells, sometimes, I attempt to understand how God works. I question God sometimes; suggest God to do certain things, often for my own benefit; advice Him what to do in certain situations...to suit me.

Haha. Sorry Father. You humbled again.

You are not my lucky charm, You are my God.

Selah...

2007-05-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

here's a funny mercedes ad.

haha..

Hmm, that scene wont happen in Massey Lib. unlike most lib, Massey lib allows you to eat. In fact, we have a cafeteria sort of thing in the library for us to buy snacks. How... unconventional.

But I like it, fits my need to snack while studying.. keeps me awake.. =)

Unconventional. Different. Many desires to be, but few are willing. It's hard to be unconventional. You will look out of place, odd...weird (eeeps!)... to the eyes of others.

Jesus was unconventional. He taught us to turn our other cheek if someone hits us; He washed the feet of His disciples, teaching them to be a servant leader. (Just imagine your, uhm, principal! washing ur feet -.-) He told us to be the last, in order to be the first. He asked us to forgive, and love our enemies, those who curses us.

Hmm..hard aye. To do those 'unconventional' things Jesus did. Especially in loving our enemies, ppl that curse us, ppl that annoys us, ppl that hurt us. Ouch! Hmm... Many times we just stay in our comfort zone and conform and be bounded by the patterns of the world. Go with the flow and just fit in? Yea, sounds cushy. But we know it's not right, sometimes, or there's more to it.

Hmm, let's learn to be a little 'unconventional' in our life, together. Let's take time in a day to do something unconventional..

I'm trying.. =)

Ps: Putting people's needs in front of us sounds unconventional. Cos sometimes we can be so busy, and willing to go out of our way to lend a hand...=)

Happy birthday

2007-05-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging lately, because I would like you to think that I have tonnes of things to do here in Palmerston North. haha. nola, just plain lazy.

Just to update a lil, since I have been here for 3 months already. Life is turning routine; quite busy on weekdays, I have 26 hours a week, mind you; and weekends were sometimes getaways, or just extra time for me to catch up with work (when exams were near) ~~or sleep in and be lazy.~~

Tests results were out a while ago. They weren't too bad really, though not excellent. At least I can still say I didn't screw up.

Going to recreation center and do gym is like the only source of entertainment here. Okla. Maybe not the only source. I go grocery shopping for fun too.

haha. okla, things aren't that bad here really. been having quite an enjoyable time here. Enjoyed good company of friends; flatmates, coursemates, ocf peeps..

In a month's time, my semester exam is up. Fast. A week after that, comes holidays. This winter break, Im going to Sydney for Hillsong Conference, for about 10 days of my 3 week holidays. Cant wait to be impacted.

Ok, that's a quick one from me. Good night

Happy brithday Champton, my buddy in japan. =)

weehee!

2007-05-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

Palmy's 1st copy of Sold Out..

Thanks to bro n sis

and look who else send their regards... haha

calvin! where are u??

I think I'm insomniac

2007-05-10T21:00:00.000+08:00

Tossed and turned as usual tonight. Have not been sleeping well for a week now. So kinda woke up every morning tired and grumpy. rah!!

But tonight's a little bit different. While listening to hillsong in bed, a smile suddenly came to my face. Just remember again who God is and He's with me here in miserable Palmy, really cheer me up again. When God is around, you expect exciting things.

Believe it or not, I couldn't wait to start my day tomorrow! wheeee... Yea I know, crazy. usually I don't want to get out of bed.

Hope, is so important. It makes my day tomorrow, and days to come.

'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit' - Romans 15:13

btw, can anyone teach me how to add comments again? it's gone after the new blogskin. thx.
Good night. Im going to ~~steal~~ borrow my housemate's bread and eat =p hungry.

1am Sold Out!

2007-05-06T12:27:00.000+08:00

hello friends in Auckland...

1am is going to have their album launch in Auckland this coming weekend. The times are:

11 May, Friday - 10pm - Aotea Square, Auckland City Center

12 May, Saturday - 7pm - Te Atatu International School, Te Atatu Peninsular, Auckland

13 May, Sunday - 10am - Rosmini College, Takapuna, Auckland

(free admission)

1am (1 Accord Ministry) is the band from ECF, my church in Malaysia. They are having their album launch concert in NZ this month, after having it launched in Dubai, UAE, and Malaysia in the last 2 months.

This is their second album, called 'Sold Out'. The message 'Sold Out' brings is about being sold out to God; His call, His values; and not about personal desire wanting the album to be sold out. (though that would be sweet). But yea, the ultimate question would be, what are you sold out for in your life? studies... career... bf... gf.. money...err nothing..?

Or perhaps the question you are asking, what is worth to be sold out for?

Come and enjoy yourself in this rock concert of 1am. Bring home these questions. Perhaps they might bring a new tune, new tempo, new rhythm to your life...

Don't miss them!! Wish I could be there. Don't forget to say hi to them for me if you get to see get to see them off stage =)

ps: 11 may: 10pm is the correct time =)

check out www.1am.com.my for their journey, songs, video, pictures.... cool website

1am nz tour promo vid

Funny-shaped thing..

2007-05-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

So, I have a new blog skin.

Uhm, pretty sure by now you might have noticed that I can't really sing. Make it, just, can't sing. What, you don't believe me? Just ask my friends who heard me singing on SingStar. oh my goshhhhhh...

There are just heaps more things that I couldn't do, persons that I couldn't be, falling so ever short of people's expectations. This pressure, I would say, universally inevitable.

My bro used to told me, 'cant possibly please everyone around you. Instead, learn not to please everyone but choose to please God!'

My God also said, 'the Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.' - 1 samuel 16:7

Heart.

How heart works, thinks, listens, acts, chooses, feels, etc.; big mystery. I don't know how to feel sometimes; or what's right, or wrong; what to be passionate about; what to desire for; what to care about.

My heart needs a driver, a pilot, a captain; to drive, direct, and steer. It really need someone who sees it all to be in charged, simply because, I don't know how to handle it.

Asking the inventor how to use his inventions is just about the right thing to do.

So God, my Creator, how did you intend my heart to be? what is it capable of? what to fill it with?

and Lord, take it back. Take my heart. Guard it. Guide it. Teach me how to use it will cha?

singing out of tune...

2007-04-25T16:15:00.000+08:00

wheee... new blog skin =p

thanks to John!

check out cool things in his new blog!

Take time and count...

2007-04-24T20:14:00.000+08:00

I finally found it. The classic pic of beach scenery that every kid draws in their art classes. Prob the only thing missing is the coconut tree on the right. and it has four leaves.

So, trip to Auckland was fun!

Stayed with Alfred and family for 1st 2 days. They have a nice and cozy place, really. It's too bad I didn't take any good shots with/of them. However I curi curi took this without their permission:

It's Ethan! Their 2 year old boy. He is so cute and well behaved. and adorable. and have I mentioned cute? Even a person like me, who is bad with kids, he still plays with me ok. Usually kids just ignore me. So sad ok. Ok we will not go to that.

For those who doesn't know Alfred and Poh Wan (Ethan's papa and mama), they are my spiritual family in ECF. They moved from kl to Auckland about a year ago. I must say, I hardly spend time with them in church really.

However, within weeks since I arrived in Palmy, I got an email from them inviting me over to Auckland to visit them during Easter. I was happy to hear from them again. and It's really funny how a simple email from them reminded me of God's, and His people's love again.

I remembered Alfred offering to reserve a room in his future house in Auckland for me if I'm going Auckland U. And that was end of 2005 when they were still in Malaysia! that time, my choice of uni was not decided yet. Just how thoughtful they are! Alfred and Poh Wan are just one couple in ECF ok... There are lots of other ppl that has blessed me along my way and it's really impossible to mention everyone here. Freely I receive, freely I should give. Louder than words, their actions always humble me and remind me to serve others...

Cliche shouts 'it's not what you do, but who you do it with'. I'm not writing detailed account of what I did there.. =p Instead, here are some familiar things that made my trip!

mr roger! and his saman. For driving too slow (which is 80km/h and the speed limit was 100km/h) and holding up traffic. haha. no really, Im not making this up. though it sounds like something I would.

KDU !
sorry couldnt include everyone... no pics =/

ms King! We didn't take any photos, so I had to use this one, which is probably the only photo we took together. lol. and Rebecca! and Fiona!

even saw a kelisa. or is it?

this is like the hoho ok..

pik-kaboooo!

Take time and count your blessings. No matter how good we are in maths, we will often have the excess. What to do with the extras? Give it away sounds really good to me..

ps:
Thanks Alfred and Family, Eng Keat and Roger for your hospitality! Thanks Laura and Chewwen, for driving and the meal!

Especially for Laura and Chewwen.

Especially for James. (and all gals who dig lala posing guys)

Surprise, surprise!

2007-04-21T19:43:00.000+08:00

Went Auckland after camp. It was quite a last min decision. Very last min actually. So only told my friends the day before im going.

However, there's this someone that I didn't tell. Esther! Decided to give her a little surprise. =p

She was showing Eng Keat and Jessie my text to hear earlier in the morning when I appeared. haha..

Gosh, I think that was my most successful 'prank' I ever did in my entire whole life. lil effort.. haha..

(ps: I asked permission before putting this up. See! Im not so mean after all!)

Sunrise, Sunrise...

2007-04-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

So, Easter camp WAS fun..

We actually stayed in a Marae, which is a traditional Maori house. It's like a big hall, so everyone just sleep inside. It's kinda funny sometimes; a few times I almost forgot that there's girls too in the hall, that I almost changed my pants in the hall itself. hah.

Learnt a lot about Maori culture; we did Hongi, which is how maoris welcome each other by touching nose to nose, and I didn't mean just to one person, i meant to the whole line of people ok... Learnt some maori songs too and oh the maoris can really sing.. we talked about their customs and beliefs and treasures...

These differences just remind me again how creative God is in His beautiful creations... Cant imagine the world with just one race. blech..

it looks like this..

We played lots of games, lots of sharing. got to know a lot of people from Wellington. Just too bad that this 3-day camp was over all too soon!

and Oh!

on the last day, I actually woke up early, climbed over a fence over to the sheeps' pen, hike a hill for about 10 mins in the cold morning, to just to catch the sunrise...

I do believe that that was my 1st time catching the sunrise, cant really recall anytime else waking up at 5am to see sunrise. (and also due to the fact that damai beach can only see sunset...)

Though covered by clouds, it was beautiful.

An impression came upon my heart. God was asking me to be still again, (pause! stop!) and think of the goodness and blessings that has been bestowed. "Deny me if you can", He challenged. and I simply can't.

"that's why you don't need another reason or excuse to tell your love ones about Me.."

"Be still, and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10

Meaning?

2007-04-05T20:42:00.000+08:00

Whee! it's Easter.. meaning holidays!

I'm going to have 2 weeks of break.. needed this break as before this I had Biology of Cells sem test and a chem lab test..and ya, assignments too. So this is like a breather. After this break, more sem tests to come. sigh..

but since I have 2 weeks of hols, I could afford a week to play! wheeee....

Tomorrow I'm heading off to wop wops near Palmy for Easter Camp.. wheeeee...

Hopefully after Easter camp.. I could head somewhere else for trips... (wheeee...?)

Anyway, last week, during one of the club's meeting, we played some game and this is what my group won..

Choc and white choc of Easter egg and bunny...
wheeeee..

Easter.. Easter ... Easter! a season cant be missed when you are here. Choc Easter eggs n bunny are everywhere. Easter egg hunt competitions are on. A season to be jolly about. I mean, we've got 2 weeks of hols !

But, is that all about Easter?

Today after my last lecture for the week, I saw this big cross erected in front of the cafeteria at the concourse...and this sort of remind me again what Easter is really about:

"what does the

cross
mean to you?"

Yea man. It sure means a lot to me... I'm sure you probably have realised it by now, looking at the number of posts I posted about God and stuff. lol. Well, if you are intrigued on why this cross is dear to me, you can ask me...

Anyway, does this cross mean anything to you? Is it just a plus sign for you and nothing more? Or does it merely remind you about the Jesus naichen is always talking about? Why didn't Jesus free himself from the cross if he was so great? how come he died le? and what, actually, is the meaning of Easter..?

It's Easter! so it's okay for you to ask about Easter! =P

"Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days"- John 2:19